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miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

(Source: kristyskrushers)

lyricalkris:

thatsabingo:

So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:

image

and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.

Magical story is magical.

vinkunwildflowerqueen:

reinedeboheme:

lexieloveyoulikeacupcake:

When Jack Warner was casting the movie My Fair Lady, Julie Andrews, who played the original Eliza Doolittle on Broadway, was overlook for the part, that was given to Audrey Hepburn.

That made her available to accept Mr. Disney’s invitation to play Mary Poppins.

At the 22nd Golden Globes, when she won the best actress award (she was up against Audrey for My Fair Lady), she had her sweet revenge.

how to shade, with class.

Julie Andrews is the queen of everything

(Source: lejazzhot)

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